Tinder un-choosing: the six stages of mate discarding in a patriarchal technology

Medina Bravo, Pilar, 1966-; Blanco Fernández, Vítor; Larrea Estefanía, Olatz; Rodrigo Alsina, Miquel, 1955-

doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/14680777.2022.2099928

Tinder un-choosing: the six stages of mate discarding in a patriarchal technology

Citation

Medina-Bravo P, Blanco-Fernández V, Larrea O, Rodrigo-Alsina M. Tinder un-choosing: the six stages of mate discarding in a patriarchal technology. Fem Media Stud. 2023;23(7):3175-91. DOI: 10.1080/14680777.2022.2099928

Abstract

We analyse rejection experiences in mobile dating applications (MDA), in particular Tinder, based on the variables of gender and age. To do so, we conducted in-depth semi-structured interviews with forty (40) heterosexual Tinder users (10 women aged 18–28 years, 11 women aged 40–60, 10 men aged 18–28, and 9 men aged 40–60). Results showed that rather than explicitly hostile experiences, users encounter a gamified soft-rejection technology where being not-selected or discarded (or not-selecting or discarding others) emerges as an apparently harmless element of a dating experience that is structured into six successive stages (self-classification, selection of partners, match, first conversation, progress, face-to-face). We discuss these findings, concluding that this paradigm may be new but it still mirrors traditional structures of machismo and ageism.