“As a rule, I don’t have sex on the first date”: gender and age differences in motivations, perceptions, and experiences on Tinder

Abstract

This research explores the impact that gender and age have on motivations, experiences, and perceptions regarding the use of Tinder. Based on an inductive analysis of 37 semi-structured interviews with heterosexual Tinder users, we specifically examine gender and age differences in motivations, match selection, and communication management on this mobile dating app. The findings show that age differences have a more significant effect on motivations than gender differences do, whereby older adults use the app to find a stable partner, and young adults use it for sex. Women are more selective when picking matches than men, and when they make these selections, they pay special attention to male attributes that are typically associated with maintaining stable relationships. In contrast, men tend to focus almost exclusively on physical appearance. Between the match and the first date, users need to deal with a considerable volume of communication, which involves the use of different communication media in a series of consecutive stages, toward which matches normatively orient themselves. This transition to new media and stages, in which men tend to take the initiative and women assume the sanctioning role, marks a kind of incremental passage to intimacy. We conclude that, in their courting conduct, Tinder users perform conventional gender scripts that are typical of the heteronormative model of intimate relationships.